Life throwing me another curve ball

Published October 19, 2010 by S

It’s funny how life can be sometimes. Just when you think that everything is going the way you had hoped….BAM! You get smacked in the back of the head with something you never expected.

Lately my life has been a little chaotic. Not only have I been going through pregnancy as a surrogate, but at the end of August the company I work for made the announcement that they will be closing the location that I work from. This decision will put approximately 80 people out of work, obviously including myself.

So I spent the better part of 6 weeks adapting to this new change in my life and trying to decide which direction to go in now. I will still have work until the end of January, but after that I’m more or less a free agent.

I debated looking for new work, trading places with Mike and being a Stay at Home Mother while he finds full-time work, and also the idea of going to school.

Was I scared? Yes! Was I discouraged? No!

I’ve always known that somehow and in some way Mike and I will make things work…..but it was all a matter of choosing a direction.

 Mike has been telling me for weeks to pick the thing that will make me the happiest, but in my usual Worry-wart way…I’ve been reluctant to make that choice knowing that what I decide will affect all of us.

Then just as I was getting used to the whole thing, another twist in the road appeared. I received a call from someone in the position to offer me work at the next closest location.

Well, my first thought on that was “Thank god!” Once again I knew what I would do. I would transfer to the other branch once the closure was official, and continue on as I had been for the last several years. I would have security knowing that I was employed (with benefits) and didn’t have to worry about my family suffering.

But there is a catch….the new office is a 35-45 minute drive from home. So I was right back where I started from before we moved to this house. We had moved to reduce the distance for both of us on our daily commutes, but now I’d be back in the position I was in before. I would be wasting almost 2 hours every day in the car, driving back and forth, and missing that time with my kids.

So the more I thought about it, the less appealing this new job offer has become. Then to add the icing to the cake, I find out that my duties will basically be reduced back to Data Entry. I’d be moving backwards in the company rather than forwards. Sure I’d be making the same amount of money, but I’d be spending so much more in gas to get there, so we’d actually have less of an income. Argh!

So I’ve kept coming back to the idea of FINALLY going to school. Over the years I have always planned to finally get my post-secondary education, but there was always something going on, or some reason why it wasn’t good timing.

The first time around was because of my Fathers’ death. I was nowhere near being able to cope with that and the added stress of college. Then later it was because of being pregnant or needing to work in order to pay the bills….

But I haven’t been able to shake the idea this time around. I’ve always been held back by fear. I was scared of giving up a good job, and the security that it offered. If it was only Me that I had to worry about, then I would have gone back to school a long time ago, but I have my husband and our children to think of now.

But Mike has been a great sounding board, and has been so supportive of me while trying to make this choice. Over the last few days we have talked several times, and he has even helped me to research schools that offer the program I am interested in (sadly none that are local) and we have made a decision!

As of this week, I will be applying for College, and hoping to be accepted to start next year. My program choice is a secret for now, but I am very excited!

I decided that I have lived with my fear long enough, and with Mike supporting my decision there is no reason not to pursue my education. If I keep waiting for the “perfect” time, I will never do it, because something will ALWAYS come up.

So maybe my company closing my location is a huge blessing in disguise. It is one of the final pushes to do what I have wanted to do for so very long now.

So wish me luck! There are many big changes coming to my life, and I couldn’t be more excited!

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