“Girl stuff” and “Boy stuff”

Published November 7, 2010 by S

I found the link for this persons blog posted on a message board that I frequent.

http://nerdyapplebottom.com/2010/11/02/my-son-is-gay/

My opinion on this article? Good for her! I hope that if my son ever does something as creative as this that I will be just as supportive as this mother was and still is. She brought up a good point that if a girl had dressed in a “masculine” costume, they all would have thought it was cute….not inappropriate. In fact my daughter was Batgirl for Halloween, but I tried very hard to convince her to be a Ninja.

Mike and I are always trying to teach our kids that there is no such thing as “boy stuff” and “girl stuff”….outside of different anatomy. We don’t think that gender should determine what toy/colour/outfit they should be allowed to like. If our daughter wants to play in the mud with monster trucks and our son wants to wear a pink shirt and watch a Barbie movie….I really don’t care! I just want to raise them to be happy and good human beings!

And if it turns out that they are gay? Well I say, good for them! Love is hard enough to find sometimes, so why confine it to a single gender? If you truly love someone what does it matter whether they are male or female?

It drives me crazy when Haylee tells me she can’t play with something because it’s a “boy toy”, or that she doesn’t want Jack to play with her dolls because he’s a boy, and they are “girl toys”. It seems funny to me that people now a days are more open and accepting of certain things, but in the issue of Gender expectation, we are still teaching our children that they have to fit into a blue or a pink mold. That it’s ok to be different but ONLY when it still fits into a certain comfort zone.

When I was a kid, I had female friends, but I played more often with a group of boys that lived on my street. I would play GI Joe, or Ninjas, or have mountain bike races with them, and they never treated me any differently than they treated each other. I had just as many bumps, bruises, and skinned knees as they did, and came home just as dirty from running around in the patch of woods near our neighbourhood trying to catch chipmunks and bringing home a garter snake more than once.

I took figure skating lessons and piano lessons, but I also loved baseball, and going to the Driving range with my Dad. I mowed the lawn when I was old enough, but still got stuck with dusting or vacuuming on the weekends.

My mom would dress me up in very Girly clothes. Lots of matching tops and bottoms, and frilly dresses. I had the long hair, and pink bedroom, at least until my teen years. I still had the pink bedroom, but when I was 15 I went for the Super short Pixie haircut. I tended to dress a little less feminine for several years. No pink or pastels, and lots of baggy jeans with running shoes…and NO dresses if I could avoid it!

I’ve always had female friends, but have always felt comfortable with my male friends. In some ways I feel more “free” with my male friends. I can tell dirty jokes and off the cuff comments without being judged. I can be 100% myself, except that I can never own up to my love of “chick flicks” in their presence without being teased.

With my female friends I have a group of people that can actually relate to a lot of what I go through, Physically and emotionally. I can watch my chick flicks in peace, but not the classic horror films that I love.

Even in this time of enlightenment, and acceptance, there are still so many taboos placed on gender roles. I can only hope that by the time my children hit puberty that the world will be even more accepting than it is now. That so many of these issues based around Gender and Love will no longer be “issues” and we can truly just accept each other for who and what we all are.

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