True Friendship

Published January 8, 2011 by S

Over the last few days I have seen numerous friends copying each others Facebook statuses with 2 particular statements that have me struck a chord with me.

“It is said that everlasting friends can go long periods of time without speaking and never question the friendship. These types of friends pick up like they just spoke yesterday, regardless of how long it has been or how far away they live, and they don’t hold grudges. They understand that life is busy, but you will ALWAYS LOVE them…. “

I have been blessed in my life to have several friends like this.  There are times when these friends and I won’t speak for weeks, or in some cases month, simply because we are so busy. It gets harder and harder to keep up with everyone now that we are getting married, having kids, and now living cities apart….but somehow we have a strong enough bond, that all that time can pass, and once we talk or see each other, it’s like it was only yesterday.

I have never been made to feel guilty by these friends for not picking up the phone a little more often, or not emailing enough.

Most of these friends I have been lucky to know since early childhood.  The first, I have known since we were babies together, while another I have known since Pre-School.  A 3rd I have been lucky to have in my life since the age of 10 and the last one I have known since 10th grade. All of these people are a part of me, and I know will always be there for me.  They have all seen me through some crazy times in my life, and have stood by me without fail each and every time I needed them. They have supported my choices, even when they didn’t fully agree with them, or would never make that choice for themselves. 

That is true friendship.  Someone who supports you even when they don’t agree with you.  Someone that believes in you when you can’t believe in your self.  A shoulder to cry on at any time of day or night, no matter what the reason.  Someone that you would forgive no matter the circumstance.  Someone you would defend, or who would defend you, no matter how angry they are at you.

Then there is the second statement that I found rang true.

“There comes a time in life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh, forget the bad, and focus on the good. So, love the people who treat you right. Forget about the ones who don’t. Life is too short to be anything but happy.”

Sadly, I have known several people like this as well. Ending a friendship is not an easy choice to make, especially one with someone that was there for you at an important time in your life. Once the anger and tears are gone, it can feel like you have cut out a piece of yourself.  You might ask yourself “how could I do that to them?” , or “Maybe things will get better.”

But that isn’t always the case.  There are some people in this world, that ARE good people, but they just aren’t good for YOU! It is an incredibly hard decision, and sometimes it can takes years to come to terms with it.

I can think of 2 friends, (or should I say EX-friends) that I have had to remove from my life.  Both of those people are good people, and during our friendship did help me to grow as a person.  But there were things that I just could not forgive in their actions.  I tried to forgive, but I simply didn’t trust them anymore, and how can you be someones friend if you can’t trust them? If you are always suspicious of what they say and do?  How can you be friends, when you are judging them, and they you?
The last few years I have tried very hard to surround myself with positive people.  The people that I trust and truly care for, and care about me.  It’s not only for myself that I do this, but for my children as well.  I want them to see happy and healthy friendships, so that as they grow they can build strong friendships as I have. That they learn how to trust and care for others, and how to accept the same in return.

To my friends that are reading this….you know who you are! You are all a part of my life for a reason, and I am grateful.

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