Blossom on Parenting

Published February 18, 2011 by S

Today I came across a rather thought provoking article on Parenting, written by Mayim Bialik.  Most of us remember her as “Blossom” from the early 90’s TV show, but what most people don’t know about her is that she has a PhD in Neuroscience.

She is currently a  guest star on one of my favourite shows, The Big Bang Theory, but she is also a regular contributor to “Today Moms” magazine and I found the ideas in her recent article quite fascinating, and encourage you to read it by clicking the link posted below.

Why I don’t Force my Kids to say Please or walk on schedule – by: Mayim Bialik and featured in Today Moms magazine

I applaud her efforts to go against the society dictated “norms” and to allow her children to truly develop at their own pace.  It can be so easy to think that by pushing your children to observe certain “polite” expectations that you are making it “easier” for them, but the point she makes about it really just teaching them to “monkey” or parrot the behaviour without truly understanding why it is needed or expected, and the true feeling behind the actions does make me wonder whether it is truly benefiting them, or just us adults.

For me as a mother, I have only ever wanted the best for my kids, but having a very wilful 6 year old (who acts much like I did at her age, if you must know) makes me wonder if the forceful methods of constant repetition and expectation are truly the best way to go. 

My Daughter is a truly loving and considerate child, which I think is more Nature and not something that you can truly teach. But my methods in some of the other areas of development have not always had the desired effects.  I don’t strive for perfection, since I don’t believe it’s fair to expect perfection from a child since it most surely does not exist in adults.

 So as of today, I am planning on overhauling the way I think about raising my children.  I don’t know if I can truly follow the methods that Mayim writes about in this article, but I’m thinking that a happy medium is very possible in this. 

I have 2 amazing children who are loving, thoughtful and kind.  I don’t want to ever change who they are, but if I can find a better way to guide them through their young lives, I am happy to do it!

Mayim also blogs on another website called “Raising Kvell” which seems to be focused on parenting in the Jewish faith, but definately appeals to a broader spectrum of parents as well.  Mayim takes pride in her faith, and has also earned a Bachelors Degree in Jewish Studies from UCLA.  That website can be found at:

http://www.kveller.com/blog/

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One comment on “Blossom on Parenting

  • It’s about balance though too. I understand the point of not forcing something because the child will learn through negative repercussions instead of the positive reason why we want them to do something, but lacking in expectations all together can be bad as well.

    Expectations can create a challenge and provide motivation. We want to be nice to our children, but at some point in their lives they’ll have to perform while under pressure, and we want them to learn to manage pressure too.

    That’s not to say you want to constantly pressure your children either, that would be bad as well, but I think it’s important to remember to not follow any one doctrine to an extreme. Finding a middle ground is always good.

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