Inner Me

All posts in the Inner Me category

Moving Forward

Published March 9, 2014 by S

Life Updates:

  • As of June 1, 2013 my husband and I separated, and are now working towards a divorce.
  • I continued on with my 2nd surrogacy journey, and delivered healthy boy/girl twins in October 2013.  You can read my story on my other blog dedicated to my experiences.  baby2beforyandc.wordpress.com

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Happiness is not determined by what’s happening around you, but rather what’s happening inside you. Most people depend on others to gain happiness, but the truth is, it always comes from within.”

“Happiness is not simply given to you, not can you expect another person to be responsible for your happiness, else you are doomed before you even begin.”

“Those we love can be supporters and help us nurture our happiness, but they cannot guarantee it. Only by looking within can we truly learn to feel and express the joy of living.”

I don’t know who wrote these quotes, but it really sums up a lesson I have had to learn over the last few years. Hopefully others that are struggling can find the truth in these words as I have.

Take control of you life, stop sitting there blaming everyone and everything around you for your situation.

Yes, bad things happen that set us back but your life cannot be handed to you. Everyone struggles, and everyone has sorrow. Everyone has trials, and everyone has disaster. You cannot live your life comparing it to others, and expect good things to start happening. You cannot live a life expecting something good to “just happen” without taking a few steps to make it so.

Despite my upbringing, I do not have a religious faith, but I do have a faith in humanity and in our ability to survive. I have faith that no matter how bad something is, somewhere there is a person who will help me, if only I have the strength to ask.

I do not turn to God to fix my life or give me strength, although I can see why some people do.  I have learned to trust in myself, and to draw strength from the love I have in my life.

I do not need romantic love to survive, and I do not need romantic love to validate my life.

I want romantic love in my life, but I can survive without it. I want romantic love in my life, but I can be happy without it.

I learned over half my lifetime ago, that simply sitting there waiting for someone to take notice and make things better for me was not going to work. I learned life doesn’t work that way, and that if I didn’t speak up, if I didn’t ask for help….no help came.

I have suffered loss through death…and I have survived. I have loved, and then been alone…and I have survived. I have struggled to grow and I have made bad choices…but I have survived. I did not always succeed, even when I tried my hardest, but I learned…and I have survived.

I do not have a perfect life, but I have the life I made for myself. I am happy and I am proud. I have the love of my family, and the promise of new love in my future.

I have endless doors open to me.

Now I just need the courage to step through…

Advertisements

Reflections of Myself

Published January 5, 2013 by S

Tonight I had a very strange experience.  I honestly am not sure how to describe it.

Mike had just gone upstairs to go to bed after trying to watch a very odd-looking movie, and I went to the bottom of the stairs to ask him a question.

We have random mirrors up throughout our house.  Not fancy ones or particularly interesting ones, with the exception of the round  one that was a wedding gift from close family friends, but in this particular house has not really found a home on any wall.

So while standing at the bottom of the stairs, I happened to look to my right at the cheap mirror that I had bought at Walmart several years ago to hang by the front door of our second house. I don’t know what it was, but I just kept looking at myself.

I will admit that I can be vain, but I have never been “stare-at-myself-in-the-mirror” vain.

I really can’t describe the weird feeling of peace that I felt. I searched my face in my reflection for something. I don’t know what, but looking at myself tonight, I felt a strange sense of peace. It was almost like my inner voice said, “Aha!  There you are!”

I didn’t have any bright or startling revelations, but I couldn’t seem to form any of the usual thoughts I have when I inspect myself in the mirror as we all do from time to time.  I didn’t see that my cheeks are perhaps more rounded than I want them to be, and I didn’t see that I am in desperate need of an eyebrow waxing.  I didn’t see what I think of as my “hooded” eyes, or my pale skin.  I didn’t see my desperately-needs-a-cut-and-style hairdo.

I just saw…me. And for some reason, it was very hard to turn away. It was almost like I was trying to memorize the person being reflected back at me, as if I might never see her again.

All in all, it was just strange.  But I was at peace.

I eventually clicked into myself again, and words to write this posting started flooding into my head. My phone was within reach, so I tried to take a picture of this serene moment to help me remember it later.  Of course the pictures on a cell phone are nowhere near as good as ones taken with a real camera…held and controlled by another person, but it was all I had handy.

Someone told me once that I’m a “Mona Lisa smiler”. Whenever I think I’m smiling a little curious smile, it tends to look almost like a small frown, or maybe just a plain old poker face. They said that when I smile, I look like I know something, but don’t want to let on that I know something. I don’t think I really understand what they meant until now.  Over the years I’ve learned to exaggerate my smile for photos, but tonight, it just didn’t seem appropriate, less honest somehow.

Peace 3ImageImage

Sometimes…

Published October 12, 2012 by S

I really do hate the internet sometimes.  It’s a blessing and a burden all at the same time.  It opens up this whole world of information and makes communication so very easy, even over great distances.

Sites like Facebook and Twitter give up vehicles to express ourselves and to say all the brilliant, inspirational, and even pointless things that we say, think and feel at any given moment.  They also give us the ability to say hurtful and damaging things as well.

And with all this social networking freedom that we all have, and that most of the people I know even carry in their pockets on their smart phones, some of us are still afraid to put certain thoughts or feelings out there.

I see bloggers who inspire me not only with their intelligence and insight, but also by their fearlessness at posting their true inner selves.  They post the good, the bad, and even the incredibly ugly.  I envy them that strength and sense of self.  I do not envy their demons, but we all have demons, and thoughts and fears.

I have some of the most amazing friends a woman can ask for, and yet I hold back.  I keep certain things to myself because I don’t like rocking the boat believing that my fleeting feeling of anger or confusion, or even silly lack of understanding will haunt me down the road once my current mood passes.

Just like most people in this world, I have my secrets, my fears, my odd times of confusion and nonsensical whimsy that few people will truly understand, but even though I’m a relatively secure and emotionally sane 30-year-old adult woman…I still have insecurity and occasionally lack self-confidence.

I know what I want my life to be, and although it’s “not quite there” yet, I’ve been moving towards my goals.  Sometimes I forget my goals and I lose my way, but ultimately I move forward after each set back.

I have this unwavering sense of optimism and pride, this river of never-ending hope that runs through me.  Even in the darker times, I always feel like there is something awesome out there.  My over-active brain never stops thinking up the possibilities, both realistic and incredibly far-fetched.

I was taught to brainstorm many years ago, and write down even the wackiest ideas and plans, and as long as I can think of those ridiculous outcomes and plots, then I know that I’ll be fine.

On the flip side, my overactive imagination also overwhelms me at times.  When I create a plan, I inevitably think up several contingencies at the same time in case Plan A, B and C fail, then I usually have a somewhat ridiculous Plan D hiding in the wings.  My brain is like an “If/Then” diagram.  If X happens, proceed to A…but if Y happens, then proceed to B…I don’t like surprises (well I do, but I find myself disappointed a lot due to previously mentioned overactive imagination) and thus my brain tries to eliminate as many as possible.

Now if you have made it this far reading my post, you are most likely asking yourself, “When will she get to the point?”   Answer?  I don’t know.  My head is so full of random thought tonight and I’m not sure I can actually put it together into a natural flow.  My friends have always told me (whether true or just being supportive friends) that I have a way with words, and writing, but right now I feel lacking in direction…which to my detriment will most likely continue to hinder my life long dream of being a published (and hopefully actually known) author.  I don’t have it in me to create a story with a fictional and possibly fantasy based plot.  I’m not good at creating dialogue and developing truly meaningful characters and stories.  My brain just doesn’t work that way…and is most likely why at the age of 15 I thought I was a reasonably good poet.  Looking back at one of my highschool notebooks though, I realize how much my friends really cared for me, to make me feel as though those angst filled ramblings were actually worthy of awards and notoriety.

Anyways, back to my opening statement, and why I sometimes hate the internet.

We are given all this technology and so many ways to express ourselves and to open up to the world, but we still often hold back what is truly important in ourselves.  The things that we want most to say…but simply can’t say out loud let alone post for the world to see.  Sure Facebook has a “delete post” button, but once something is on the internet, it is out there forever…for good or evil.

I suppose I should put some sort of disclaimer here, so here goes…

I am a generally happy person.  I try not to dwell too much on failures and negatives.  I have my secrets and I have my pride.

I have things in my life that I know I can do and that I was meant to do.  Because I am human, and have human emotions I do occasionally doubt myself. And even when I do doubt myself, I will never give up on myself. I know how strong I am, even if I do sometimes need a strong person to lean on.

Again I say that I am human, and thus not perfect.  I may act like it sometimes, and like a “know-it-all” but I know my limits and faults.  I accept them because they are a part of my uniqueness.  They are part of what makes me…me. I feel loved by so many people despite those faults, so I claim them as part of myself.

I am strong, but I am also weak.  I know what I need, but not always how to achieve it. I do the best I can, and sometimes it’s not enough.  I feel small sometimes even though I talk big.  Sometimes I feel stupid, even though I know I am intelligent.  I sometimes feel mean, even though I know I have compassion.  I feel like a burden, even when I try to lighten a persons load.

Perhaps none of this makes sense to anyone else, but these are my human imperfections.  I am a walking contradiction.  I am 30 years old and still looking for my place in this world.  I want to give of myself freely, but at the same time I want recognition and love.   I’m good at keeping other people’s secrets…but I’m not good at sharing my own.

If you made it this far you definitely deserve a medal, or a cookie.

And so I continue on my life journey. And I hope you will all stay with me along the way.

Added after original posting…

It has been pointed out to me that perhaps I missed the point on what any of this has to do with the internet. (I changed the original title after posting as well)  I guess its mostly an indirect thing.  Internet is supposed to be this amazing medium.  It is supposed to open up the world and give us all some sort of freedom to indulge in its many wonders.  Easy access to any information we need, from scientific facts, history, or even just to settle arguments of whether or not Gary Sinese or Gary Oldman was in Forrest Gump, and which one was Bram Stokers version of Dracula.

Internet is supposed to be this open window to the universe. Blogging and social networking sites are supposed to give the most common, and “normal” of us humans a voice. A medium to vent and basically give us an online diary or party line.

My point is that even those of us who use this technology, some of us still hold back.  We still don’t share certain parts of ourselves, and some people feel even further alienated.  We see the reactions to other peoples sharing, and the consequences of that sharing, and we still shy away from it.  In some ways the internet gives us a chance to be anonymous, but even in that anonymity, we still feel like we can’t open up. Or at least some of us can’t…

Just today I deleted a picture I had posted.  A simple screen shot of my Horoscope for today.  Why?  Because I felt that the comment left by a family member was perhaps sarcastic (maybe not, but thats how I read it) and I felt mocked.  I don’t believe in the predictive abilities of horoscopes, but I read mine now and then just for fun.  Todays struck a note with me.  It seemed fitting to how I have been feeling the last few days, so posted it more as a small ode to the oddness of the timing, and perhaps as a passive aggressive way of letting my friends know that I’m feeling overwhelmed and tired.  But because that simple facebook comment struck me the wrong way…I deleted the picture…deleted my self expression. And why?  Because I didn’t want to be teased.

One step closer to Old…or how I spent my 30th birthday (heavy on the pictures!)

Published August 23, 2012 by S

So, I am officially in my 30’s. I have lived 3 decades on this planet, and am now the age that my Mother was when she had me.

My husband had planned a surprise for me for the evening. My only knowledge was the email he sent me last Friday telling me that I needed to have “something fancy” and be quick getting ready after work. After asking questions to determine the level of fancy I settled on this dress that I wore 2 summers ago to my best friend’s wedding, but different shoes though. It’s rare that I find a dress that I really like, so I’m glad I held on to this one.

I really love this dress!

I managed to leave work an hour early to come home and get ready. (Thanks Jenn!!) Not much to do really except shave my legs, but well, I’m a woman and I wanted to fiddle with my hair as well. I really suck at doing my own hair, so it just stayed down and got a good brushing and that was that. Half way through dressing Mike called to say he was running late and could I pick up Jack from daycare…so I hurried to throw on the first thing I could find as I was only half-dressed and brought Jack home.  When I got home my beautiful daughter brought me a rose from the garden.

Anyways, Mike was just a few minutes behind me and obliged in zipping me up before heading out. So we hopped on the QEW and headed to Niagara Falls. Part way there Mike needed me to look up which street we needed to access the parking lot, so I learned then that he had made a reservation in the Revolving restaurant in the Skylon tower. *INSERT GLEEFUL SQUEELING HERE*

Skylon Tower (Niagara Falls, On)

I had totally forgotten that years ago when we started dating I told Mike I’d love to go there sometime. It took 11 years, but he remembered this whole time, and scored some major Husband points for this surprise.

So we got to the Skylon, and took good ol’ elevator number 3 up to the restaurant. We didn’t have to wait long before we were seated right next to the window. We did ask the Maitre D to take a picture of us together though first, since we never get all dressed up just for fun, and even then we really never get a picture or us together. Between the 2 of us we took a lot of pictures tonight. The weather was amazing and view perfectly clear so we did manage some really nice shots.

 

Ok, now food. The nights special was Surf and Turf. An 8oz angus steak along with a 5 lb Lobster tail. Mike is more of a crab guy, and I’ve never been a fan of seafood, but I’ll admit I did hem and haw at giving it another go. The menu did a really good job of selling it after all.

Drinks:

Mike – Diet coke (no ice!)

Me – Peach Bellini (Jamaican rum blended with fresh peaches and topped with champagne)

Appetizers:

Mike – A Scallop dish

Me – Tomato and Cucumber Salad (w/boccechini cheese and olives) in a herbed oil dressing

Main Course:

Mike – Grilled Salmon served on Rice with steamed Veggies, and a side of Mushrooms

Me – Angus steak (Medium rare) with potato and veggies  (Yes, I’m a carnivore!  Deal with it!  lol)

Totally delicious!! I can’t remember the last time I stuffed myself like that.

As we ate we enjoyed the amazing view.  We spend a lot of time down there, but its a whole new thing seeing it from up above like that. Here are a bunch of those pictures.

Canadian Horseshoe Falls

Mike and the Rainbow

American Falls, and the Rainbow Bridge

Clifton Hill (from the back)

 

In the bar area (near the elevator bay) they have a pianist playing for the dinner guests.  You only hear him for 1/4 of the time you are there because once you go past a certain point in the rotation you are cut off from him.  He played some interesting medleys and interpretations of well known songs.  Among them I recognized “All I ask of you” from The Phantom of the Opera, The song from Charlie Browns Christmas movie, and of course…Billy Joel’s “Piano Man”. There were also rather normal versions of classics like “Embrace me”, and “A Kiss is still a Kiss”.

I will forever think of him as “Piano Man”

We decided to skip dessert since I was just to full to even consider it, and planned to go walking the tourist area a bit and then stop at my favourite Williams Coffee Pub for a slice of cheesecake on the way home.  Don’t even get me started on the elevator operator with the crazy long hair, and mustache telling jokes and making odd comments the whole way down.

On the way back to the car we caught part of this summers “Spectacle”.  Since the whole thing with Nick Walenda walking a tightrope over the falls this summer, they started having this other guy do a nightly walk from the top of the Skylon across to the top of the Hilton hotel.  Yes he is wearing a tether.

 

 

It was quite the attraction.  There were people randomly standing in groups watching, and even a family sitting on lawnchairs in the middle of a parking lot next to their RV.

 

 

 

So after watching that for a couple of minutes, we drove to Clifton Hill, and parked behind the shop where Mike used to work. We ran in to say a quick hello to his old boss (Hi Mandi!) and then headed out on the Hill. Just walked in and out of a few shops and then up and down the hill once enjoying the perfect weather.

Just as we got back to the car, I got a birthday call from my big brother, and after a quick chat we headed across town to Williams. Just as we got there I got a call from my Nana, but eventually we made it in and ordered. Mike got a special cookie and a Coke Zero, while I chose a slice of White Chocolate Mousse cake to go.

Next stop on the way home was quite random. Mike had to stop at the card/collectibles shop he go to for tournaments to have a quick chat with the owner about something. When we got there we ran into our amazing friend Karl (Love ya Karl!). While Mike chatted to the owner, I rummaged through a bin labelled “Retro Collectibles” and to my delight found an unopened Geordi LaForge figurine!

Ya baby! Ya!

Now, I’m a pretty big Trekkie so this to me was awesome, especially since on Sunday Mike and I are headed to “Fan Expo” in Toronto where Mr. Levar Burton is scheduled to appear.

So anyways, I picked it up and turned around to have this conversation with Karl:

Me: This is awesome! And he’s going to be at Fan Expo this weekend!

Karl: Want me to buy it for you for your birthday?

Me: Really? That would be awesome! You sure?

Karl: Yup.

So that’s how I ended up with a 1988 unopened Geordi LaForge figurine. It is my first piece of real memorabilia, and if I’m lucky I just might get it signed on Sunday. Maybe not, but I’m going to try!

I also seem to have impressed the store owner with my Trekkie leanings, so I think I’m in the circle of trust now.

Next stop…

Because no evening with us is complete with Walmart!

So we randomly stopped at Wal-Mart for a fridge calendar, and then again at…

…that’s right, Sobey’s, to get the soap that we didn’t think to buy at Wal-Mart.

And after all that, I came home to regale my Mom with the tales of this evenings adventures and to thank her for watching the kids while Mike took me out.

Thank you Mikey for my very special birthday surprise! It was amazing!

New Leaf

Published November 8, 2011 by S

So I’ve been keeping pretty quiet the last few weeks.  But I figure its time to get back to it…

So here are my updates:

Surrogacy: we had our 3rd transfer on October 24th.  I went for the blood test yesterday and once again it came back negative.  I’ll be updating my surrogacy blog later today, but wanted to post here too.  Right now the guys do still have several embryos left, and they are planning to meet with the doctor and see what he thinks and recommends.

But at the moment I believe we are taking a short break.  The guys have a trip planned in December (very jealous of them btw!) and I feel that I need a little time off and away from all the hormones.

Life: We just keep on trucking through.  My EI came through at the perfect time, but I’m still looking and applying for pretty much any job I can.

Kids: Are doing great.  Jack is being crazy stubborn in the potty training, but we are slowly making progress.  Haylee is doing really well in school.  She’sstill adjusting to all the new kids and trying to make friends, but she seems really happy.

What’s Next:  Starting this morning I am now seriously going to work on dropping some weight.  Since starting on all the hormones and meds, I have gained some weight.  Part of it is a side effect of the hormones, and part is because I just enjoy my food so darn much!  I have a goal in mind that I want to achieve by the end of the year which gives me about 7 weeks. I’ll have to really work my butt off to meet or get close to my goal, but I want to do it.  I’ve never exactly been a “skinny” person, but I have never really been this heavy before and I worry that the extra weight might be the problem with getting pregnant.  So I’m going to do what I can to eliminate that problem…and just feel better in general.

So that’s my relatively brief update.

10 Years…I Miss you Dad!

Published September 13, 2011 by S

10 years ago today, my father passed away.

I miss him just as much today as I did that first day. There will be days when I will think of him, and still have to remind myself that he’s gone.

I feel sad everytime I think of the things that he has missed being a part of.  My highschool graduation, my first job, my wedding, and my kids most of all.

I see him in my kids though.  Mostly in small ways, but to me they are unmistakable. I see him in the way my daughter squints her eyes when she smiles, and I see his personality in my son from time to time.  He was always ready for a good laugh, or to sing along with the radio.

When I was a kid, he was always a phone call away. If I needed a ride somewhere or forgot my house key he’d be home in a flash to help me out. He would take me bowling or to the driving range…even to the Fort Erie racetrack when the weather was nice.

I remember him teaching me to tie my shoes, and how to catch a pop-fly. He drove me to all my piano and horseback riding lessons and came on school trips whenever his schedule allowed. Some of my happiest memories were of us just driving in the car belting out classic songs like “American Pie” or “Hard Days Night”.   He was always so great with my friends. He would treat us to McMuffins after sleepovers, and drive us to the movies.

I was so proud of him for starting his own business and also for going back to school in his 40’s to become a Palliative Care worker.  He had a big heart and so many people came up to me at his funeral and told stories of how he helped them out of some really tough places in life.

I love my Dad.  It doesn’t matter that he’s not alive and living on Earth, I still love him.

Dad in his "Magnum PI" phase...circa 1990

Christmas Morning 1995...see the father/daughter coke bottles?! LoL

RIP Daddy!

~Sept 7, 1950 – Sept 13, 2001~

A most familiar pose to anyone that knew him

The Red Dress

Published September 6, 2011 by S

Yesterday I came across a story that can only be described in one word exclamations.  “Wow!”, “Amazing!” and “Inspiring!” to name a few.

The History:

A few months ago, an amazing Blogger named Jenny (aka The Bloggess) posted an inspiring article titled “The Traveling Red Dress” on her own site. I had not yet started to follow the Bloggess, since apparently I lived in a cave and wasn’t made aware of her amazing existence until she posted her infamous introduction to Beyoncé the Giant Metal Chicken, and how it came to share her home.  But I digress…

The article was about overcoming your own personal roadblocks and doing the things that you have dreamed of doing no matter how others may look at you.  I hope she doesn’t mind, but I’ll add a quote from her post here to give you the idea:

“I want, just once, to wear a bright red, strapless ball gown with no apologies.  I want to be shocking, and vivid and wear a dress as intensely amazing as the person I so want to be.  And the more I thought about it the more I realized how often we deny ourselves that red dress and all the other capricious, ridiculous, overindulgent and silly things that we desperately want but never let ourselves have because they are simply “not sensible”.  Things like flying lessons, and ballet shoes, and breaking into spontaneous song, and building a train set, and crawling onto the roof just to see the stars better.  Things like cartwheels and learning how to box and painting encouraging words on your body to remind yourself that you’re worth it.

And I am worth it. –Jenny (The Bloggess)”

The Present:

And so the journey of the Red Dress began.  A designer named Sunny Haralson made a dress specifically for this project, and after The Bloggess had her time with the dress (and had some amazing photos taken) it was sent out into the world so that  other women could wear it and feel the same feeling of Wonder  and Awe that Jenny did. The plan is for the dress to travel from city to city and spread its magic to others looking to finally do all those things that were kept in diaries and dreams.

I noticed yesterday, The Bloggess re-tweeted a post made by one of the women lucky enough to wear this dress. Another amazing blogger whose name I believe is Lolli attended a local event for other such bloggers and amongst all the women in their shorts and sandals was the amazing red dress! Her post titled “The Sisterhood of the Bloggess’ Traveling Red Dress” tells how all the women at this party took a turn sporting this inspirational garment.

“As each person took a turn trying on the red dress, the energy in the room began to change. Something was happening to us.

Finally, it was my turn. I followed Amy up the stairs and was right behind her as she took the red dress off. I stepped into the dress and Kristen fastened the corset back.

In less than a minute, I was ready for my debut. I walked down the stairs and the room cheered.

I felt beautiful. But I realized with a jolt as my picture was being taken that I had no idea what I looked like at that moment.

Each one of us had walked down those stairs into a room full of other women without ever passing a mirror. Everyone looked gorgeous but that was not what we were focused on.

The magic of the Bloggess’ traveling red dress was the way it made each woman feel.”

No two women were the same, but as each woman put on that dress they felt the magic.  It didn’t matter if they were skinny, or full-figured.  It didn’t matter if they were blonde or brunette.  That dress brought out something happy and amazing in each of them.

Jenny had sent this dress to a woman fighting Breast Cancer, who then shared it with the women at this party. You can see the confidence in each woman’s photograph, even without being able to see their faces.  Their posture and how they hold themselves tells the whole story (Ladies,  any of you who has ever worn a fancy dress knows what I’m talking about!)

And I have to admit that I am jealous!  Jealous of these women for sharing in the journey of this dress, and jealous of them for feeling that freedom and happiness that came from it.

So what I will take from this story is this: Never be afraid to live your life. Be whimsical even if your aren’t brave, and sometimes let the reason just be “Because I can!” 

Those of you that know me in real life know that I have dreams.  You know that I’m not usually afraid to speak my mind, and to dream big.  But most of you would be surprised at how often I talk myself out of things, and how often I wimp out of things simply because I care way to much what a perfect stranger might think. For me it’s easier to get a great big tattoo across my back then it is to wear a dress that ends above my knees or to go up on stage at a karaoke bar without a drink or two in me first.

I remember a long time ago talking with my friends and planning a Girls Night Out where we would all put on our fanciest dresses that we had worn over the years that we just couldn’t let go of, and bring them out into the world again.  We never had anywhere fancy or appropriate to wear them so planned to just head down to Clifton Hill in Niagara Falls. An area where ballgowns, prom dresses or wedding attire would be seldom scene, and perhaps cause a few double takes from our fellow tourists.

But sadly nothing ever came of those plans.  And now its years later.  Many of us are married, a few of us have children, have moved away, or simply have lost touch because of silly fights.

I’m thinking I’m going to let this be an inspiration.  I’m going to stop letting other people stop ME from being me.  I’m going to live the life I want to live and enjoy it while I’m able to.  And hopefully I’ll finally have that girls night planned so long ago, and create more wonderful memories with my friends as we create a real sensation.

I know it’s not exactly the point that Jenny and Lolli had in mind, but its a step, and one that I want to take with those closest to me. We will break those chains inside us that hold us back and have us worried about  “appearances”.  I can’t imagine sharing that freedom with anyone else.

______________________________________________________

PS:  To The Bloggess and Lolli, if you happen to find this post, I hope you don’t mind me quoting your inspiring words.  I honestly couldn’t have said it better if I tried.

%d bloggers like this: